Didn't pass probation. What should I do now?
I'm writing this mostly for me, because I'm struggling to tell myself I wasn't an incompetent piece of shit, so I need to summarise it and put it somewhere. In advance, thank you, and sorry for the rant.
So, I got fired from my job at a marketing agency today, and I’m still trying to process it. It was a terrible experience from start to finish. I’m furious and frustrated that there’s nothing I can do, and dissappointed at myself that I put so much effort in a place that I hated.
At the start, I had clear boundaries. I came from a larger agency where people had time to do things properly. I assumed I’d go through proper onboarding and training, so I just did what was asked of me—nothing extra.
But because I was performing so well, they gave me two clients at the same time, something that had apparently never happened before. I told them I was honored but that it was too much (I came from a team of seven people for a single client) and that it could affect my probation. They reassured me, “It won’t affect your probation, it’ll only look good on you.”
The first red flag was that the person whose role I filled quit after just a month, with nothing else lined up, because he thought the job was insane.
There was zero room for mistakes and zero proper training. And, of course, I made mistakes. I was stretched too thin.
In the second probation meeting (out of three), the head of operations said that "if something didn't change in the next 2 weeks, we would have an issue", and gave me a very clear list of things I could tackle (which my manager never mentioned). This was frustrating because it wasn't hard things, I inmediately was able to address all of them.
In that same meeting, they also mentioned that they removed a client from me, which I thanked them for, and I said I was sure that this would help me gain stability before having a second client. And they said it wasn't something good. That they just expected people to "deal with the stress".
My probation got extended, officially to make up for my holiday/absence, but in reality, I think they just weren’t happy with my progress.
Feedback was all over the place. But towards the end, my manager said everything had improved and I should just keep it up. I repeatedly voiced that I felt like I was working in fear because they never clearly told me if I was on track to pass probation, and that this constant uncertainty made me nervous, which led to more mistakes.
By the end, I had completely changed my working style. I went from having clear boundaries to working late almost every day, skipping lunch breaks, and pushing myself way too hard.
In the last few weeks, I covered my account alone while my manager was off, helped with other accounts, and even got shouted out in the kudos chat. I was also constantly offering to help out in the team’s help group, and always trying to support wherever I could. At this point, everything seemed like it was going great, and I started to feel like I was going to pass probation, if it wasn't extended once more.
And yet, I was fired instead.
My manager had been promoted the same time I joined, so I know she was learning with me. I don't blame her too much. But the higher-ups, and the culture & structure of the company, makes me absolutely furious.
What should I do? Should I even bother to leave angry reviews, or somtehing? I just want to hurt them now.
Or should I just let it go?
Has anyone been through something similar?
----------------------------------------------------
Other (just very painful, but not so important) details:
- I'm ADHD & Hyperactive which I said multiple times. And despite that, they:
- Sat me next to the kitchen (loudest and chattiest place of the office).
- Put the "office speaker" next to me.
- Said it was ok for me to work at the cantine when I couldn't focuse, but then mentioned I wasn't present enough.
- When social events happened (I'm a very social person):
- Most people didn't go out of their way to include me (I don't blame them, it's not their responsability, but it speaks of the company culture).
- My manager did 0 effort to talk to me, or even present me to other people.
- My manager left with her office friends to the social event without me, and I had to take the next train alone, to make my way there.
- On an everyday basis:
- My manager wouldn't look me in the eye (which might be a neurodivergent thing that I can understand), still difficult sometimes, when paired with the points below.
- She wouldn't say hello or good morning unless I did first, and never asked how I was doing.
- Some of the higher-ups had a very annoying way of existing around the office, in which it seemed like saying a mere "hello" would make them bleed.