Just so tired of this emotional kid

The toddler rage started a few months before age 2 and has not quit. She is now 4...

Spikes of screaming have fluxuated in frequency each week and my wife has been an absolute champ about it, especially considering the toxic household she has grown up in.

So here we are on a rare not-rainy day with a 4 year old that, due to nothing, has exploded yet again so now there is no family walk.

Yes we can take turns without her but it's besides the point.

Just so fucking tired of dealing with her outbursts. I very much get the impression that we have a more "emotional child" than any of our peers which doesn't help.

I'm tired of every week having multiple days where my kid makes the choice to turn everything to shit and have everyone feel like hot garbage. My wife is constantly questioning whether or not she is loved by our girl too. Online posts, our daughter's teacher, members of our support group all have shared with her the reasons why our girl behaves like this and that it doesn't mean she isn't loved. It's a hard thing to accept when you have a kid screaming bloody murder in your face

I'm just fucking tired. I'm tired of each day navigating a minefield where there is an inevitable explosion that just turns joyful things into an absolute dumpster fire. I've read the stories of ways people help their kids cope with big feelings. We try them all and still here I am, sitting by a window while my daughter and wife are each in separate rooms because they are too upset about the shit show that was caused by my fucking 4 year old. Over. Absolutely. Nothing. Ughhhhhhhhhhhh Thanks for listening

Update:

What a remarkable community this can be. I'm humbled by the support of absolute strangers offering insights and just simple validation. With distance from that event I can see some signs and likely thought patterns that my daughter was going through which led to the outburst. Surprising no one here, we had also been lower than normal levels of sleep due to a dog who needed some emergency vet intervention (she's fine now). I suspect my daughter is extra tired due to growing pains (talking of legs hurting when laying around the house amongst as one example) and the noises we hear coming from the monitor when she's asleep.

Our pediatrician moved away so we will be prioritizing finding a new one and getting some professional advice for both peace of mind but also some other resources that might help us navigate this stage. While my daughters behavior doesn't align with SPD, ASD, food allergies, or vitamin deficiencies, I do plan to explore them all and appreciate the time each person took to share their advice. Much love to all of you