Had the biggest argument ever with my husband in early pregnancy and terrified of what's to come.

Hi all! FTM mom here and I'm 5W6D and dealing with a lot of lows in my pregnancy already. Me and my husband basically NEVER fight and after a talk about finances right after finding out I'm pregnant, I'm nervous that our marriage is ruined and he is just here to support the baby at this point.

Context: we live in an expensive city in a large one bedroom and are thinking of moving into a house. The housing market is INSANE. So horrible. We've had conversations before that we could have a baby in the apartment for a bit before moving into a house. After finding out about the pregnancy there is a bit more of a desire to move sooner rather than later.

With savings from our wedding, an inheritance (on husbands side), and my husbands savings, we have more than enough for a 20% down payment on a house. We have an idea of what we want to spend on a house which is hard to come by in our state but hoping it will happen. After crunching numbers my husband said he could basically cover all expenses, and I could contribute a couple hundred a month (very possible for me!) . With my business this is very doable, and i had always planned to keep it going, just didn't plan to work my consulting gig which is a steady income after i give birth.

He asked how much I had saved and that is where the disappointment comes in. It is very little compared to him. He covers most of our expenses now, and I have started to save more after a few big business investments that didn't get a good ROI, and a medical emergency with unexpected bills. I haven't invested in anything major in my business in the last year because of learned lessons, so even with the medical bills I've been able to save but it's a small fraction compared to him.

My savings is basically nothing to him and he is frustrated he is pulling all the financial weight. And stressed about it. I feel that this is a temporary situation right now and understand his side completely, but am also quite upset that i feel like finances might ruin our marriage when I thought we were so much more solid than that.

Can it be my hormones jumping to this conclusion?

Because I have NEVER doubted our relationship. We have a beautiful connection. Always have. We basically never fight (only argue a bit) And the fight about finances was about how much I have compared to him which yes maybe we should have spoken about prior to getting pregnant but I know we are way better off financially than many, I didn't plan to work at my part time gig (in addition to my business) after the baby is born but I will if I need to in order for us to feel secure, and I have my own business where I'd be able to do things remotely, which has been pretty successful but I feel that when push comes to shove I will make sure we can provide the kind of life we we want for our child.

The amount of disappointment I felt in myself after our conversation is beyond what I thought possible. He never attacked me, just voiced how let down he was, and I understand that. But something feels completely different now.

We still say I love you, text when at work, snuggle at night, so on the surface it looks "good" but I just feel like I've ruined the best thing that ever happened to me and it breaks my heart that our baby is coming at a time when their mom & dad are shakier than ever.

I keep crying about it.

I'm so tired and just want to sleep and ignore what's going on.

I'm scared to bring it up not because I'm afraid for my safety but because I don't think I can handle him telling me something like he wants to leave me or doesn't love me anymore.

I guess what I'm asking is...

Did you ever get into a big fight with your partner after getting pregnant that felt like it could be a deal breaker and it worked out okay?

Did you feel like it was all ending and everything was actually fine, he (or she/they) just needed a little time to process on their own?

Can I be overreacting and looking too much into all of it?

Can the hormones be making me feel like I'm a terrible person and fucked up the best thing in my life?

Any words of encouragement are SO appreciated.

Thank you <3