SO happy to be here! Also so scared.

Hi everyone! I'm just really happy to be here!! I found out a few days ago that I'm pregnant and just hit 5W today. This is my (33F) first pregnancy and I literally want to tell EVERYONE but will most likely wait until 12/13W to tell most people.

I knew I was pregnant because I had dreams for almost a whole week with positive pregnancy tests and the night before I took my first test I had a dream I was pregnant and had morning sickness and woke up very nauseous. This just happened a few days ago and the only symptoms i'm having as of now are mild nausea, light cramping (I cramp REALLY badly with my period) and fatigue.

This pregnancy was planned and me and my husband (35M) couldn't be happier. I want this baby SO badly. More than anything I've ever wanted in my life. I did not expect to feel so attached to this little poppy seed immediately but here we are.

Long story short, I've had a lot of loss in my life and I'm so afraid of losing this baby. I know that this is a possibility of course, I know the statistics and have had a lot of friends who lost their babies, and even though I am trying EVERYTHING to remain positive (this is what I help people with in my work!) this fear feels so big. A few things (like my dreams & the fact this baby decided to make themselves known two days after my MIL's bday - she passed 2 months after our wedding in 2023) are helping me calm down but it's pretty challenging to lean back and trust right now.

I take pregnancy tests multiple times a day to confirm its still here and the lines are getting darker (they are) and i also know these aren't even set indicators but it is helping me calm my nerves.

My husband and I have a snowboarding trip with his dad, brother & father's gf this friday and i'm so nervous to do anything that could potentially hurt the baby even though every thing I've read said it should be fine.

Waiting until my 8W appointment feels like it's going to be torture lol.

What were some ways you helped yourself feel calmer / remain positive and excited instead of anxious? I've done some meditations and journaling but any help or just knowing I'm not alone is much appreciated!

Thanks for reading if you got this far <3