19 year old girl here. had a really traumatic experience from my loving father. HELP.

We're both very close with each other and always have been. we recently had a fight. Then, things escalated a lot and he did something really traumatizing. it's not abuse or anything but something i dont know how to classify it as. I don't want to talk to my mom about it as she works abroad and I dont want them to have an argument over it nor give her any stress. I want to share it with a female friend but wouldn't that paint my father in a bad image in front of them..... i'm so confused... I want to let it out but don't know how..

made a throwaway account for this post and ive been debating whether to post it for around 2 months