Spouse aggravating triggers. What to do?

Joined this community recently and learned a lot. Wish I joined several years ago!! Many folks around me didn't believe when I said talking for long is a trigger; among several other triggers that sounded silly.

TLDR in title. A pressing question that needed asking. Hence a throw away account.

Spouse and I argue a lot for years. Typically they end up in her resorting to silent treatment for days and sometimes weeks. Sometimes I dont know when the silence started and many a times I dont know when it will end. Whenever it begins without any argument, the reason will not be revealed despite asking several times so I can learn and adapt. Also, there was never a bad place or bad time to start this treatment. On a trip, a hike, before going to a friends place or whenever.

Oh my 6 years of episodic migranes became chronic 3 years ago.

She locks herself in a room after such arguments a few times. Typically, I ask her to leave the door open to reduce my anxiety and that I wont bother her. In a recent argument, as it went on for a while, for a change I locked myself in a room turned off lights and tried to sleep. It was 1am. She kicked the door open; turned on the lights; pulled my blanket; wont let me cover my face; and put her phone near my ear with a loud setting of some random YouTube video. Yes, she knew they were triggers. Got a horrible 8/10 episode that lasted for days.

I am not a saint, knowing stress is a trigger, I should not indulge in these arguments. But I have an OCD for communication closure and getting an explanation.

What should I have done? What should I do in future? I feel like I am stuck in a limbo.