(Brown Guy) Hesitated to Comfort a Crying Stranger (White Woman) Downtown—Did I Overthink It?
TL;DR: Saw a distressed woman (white) crying in public, wanted to check in but hesitated (brown guy). Unsure of the best approach in such situations. Thoughts?
Today, while waiting for a cab downtown, I noticed a woman standing next to me who was visibly distressed—crying, trying to hold it in, and clearly overwhelmed. She seemed to be waiting for a cab too, and this went on for quite a while.
My immediate instinct was to check in and see if she needed help. But then, a thought crossed my mind: Would my concern be perceived the wrong way? As a brown guy in Dubai, approaching a distressed white woman in public felt like it could backfire, even though my intention was purely to help. In any other setting or place, I wouldn’t have second-guessed it, but here, I hesitated.
After about 10 minutes of overthinking, I finally mustered up the courage to do something small—I grabbed a bottle of water from a nearby restaurant and gently asked if she wanted some. She declined, saying, “No, it’s fine,” in a tone that still sounded helpless. At that point, I backed off, partly because of my initial concerns and partly because I understand that sometimes people just need space when they’re upset.
I left feeling sad that I couldn’t do more. As someone with Mental Health First Aid training and certification, I usually know how to offer comfort, but in that moment, the weight of societal dynamics made me pause. I wanted to say something reassuring but couldn’t find the right words.
For anyone who’s been in a similar situation—how do you navigate this? What’s the best way to show kindness without overstepping or making someone uncomfortable? Hoping for perspectives and advice (and also hoping there’s never a next time). Or was I really just overthinking?