RIP my baby

His name was Aston Martin (because he purred like a V12) I had him since he was 3 weeks old and he was almost 18 when he passed away. I nurtured him, fed him with the bottle, and I still remember how he would fit in my palm, and sleep in my armpit at night when he was just a tiny little creature.

I had to have him euthanised because he was suffering from multiple cerebrovascular strokes since last year. He died in my arms November 21st. Everyone, including the Vet, is telling me that I made the right choice, the one that takes courage, but still, I’m struggling with the guilt.

He was my baby (I couldn’t have kids) and I’m feeling completely overwhelmed now. How do you cope with this ? I’m trying to remember the good times, the love. But I’m having nightmares from his last breath in my arms. Today I got to burry him, and it gave me some closure, but I’m having a really hard time dealing with the pain😢 Thank you for reading. I just needed to let it all out.