I made out with a very handsome guy without telling him I'm a woman of trans experience

You're welcome to express your disagreement without attacking me.

I've always been one of those out-and-proud trans women who would tell you that being trans is beautiful and that we should be proud of ourselves because, no matter how much society hates us, we're still here going strong and we've moved mountains to reclaim our real selves, something that cis people take for granted.

But then I realized that honesty wasn't getting me what I wanted. A friend of mine, a very smart cis woman of color, used to be a stripper and she has taught me a lot of things, things that are never taught to trans women. She said that men love the fantasy, that is why they go to strip clubs to begin with. And she also said that certain things are better off left unsaid. I'm mentioning the fact that she's a woman of color because, in my experience, cis women of color tend to give very good advice and are very smart.

Two days ago, I met a very handsome guy. He approached me at the bar of the hotel where I was staying at. He was just different from the trans-attracted men in ways I'm unable to describe. He had a very genuine masculinity about himself that attracted me like a magnet. It wasn't a performative masculinity. God knows how attracted I felt to him. Long story short, we made out and his attraction felt primal, palpable, raw. I decided not to ruin the mood by uttering the word "trans." I thoroughly enjoyed every second I spent with him. He wanted to have sex, but I said I wasn't ready. He is still texting me. The way he communicates with me is also different compared to the way men who know I'm trans communicate. I've never experienced anything like this before and I don't know how to explain it because I'm not good with words. When I close my eyes and I think about us making out and him kissing me passionately, chills run down my spine.

For some fucked up reason, the men who are attracted to me for being a woman of trans experience tend to be unattractive, not only physically but also behaviorally. And they just interact with me differently. I'm afraid I'm not making any sense. Hopefully, someone else will be able to explain what I mean.

In my experience, more guys than you think will still be down for sex once you come out as a woman of trans experience, but they will have a mental barrier. They'll view you as an experiment or as something not worthy of courtship. They won't make out with you the same way they would if they thought you were just a regular woman. Does it make sense?

This guy will travel to my city in a month, and I decided that I'm going to see him and enjoy the moment. I need to become selfish. And I know that some of you might raise your eyebrows, but I'm going to implement a new strategy because coming out as a woman of trans experience has never worked for me and has only attracted the dregs.