PhD candidates, are you doing okay?

Hi everyone, I hope you are doing well.

Currently, I am applying for PhD in Economics at US. However, I am getting de-motivated as I learn more about PhDs. First of all, it is so competitive that the whole process makes me question myself, my abilities and if I am good enough. Going through all these difficulties, expensive exams, months spent on applications; it does not seem like it worths and I am worried. I am coming across these posts about people barely afford living while doing a PhD. Is that true for most? I will be on international student visa so I don’t think I am allowed to work anywhere else for extra money. Do you think I can survive with the PhD stipend in general? I don’t spend a lot of money outside, like cooking my own food and staying in. Also have no problem sharing flats with people.

And lastly, if it is so much stress and little compensation, why is it still so competitive? If I were to stay in Germany and get a job, I can earn almost double the amount in PhD. But I am not money-driven person, I am passionate about research and learning. However, I am concerned about the stress I might have if I couldn’t afford living there. My family cannot support me, I have been on scholarships since my Bachelor’s studies.

Thank you for your help and attention. Best of luck!