My fiancé called off our engagement over finances, and I’m struggling to understand—did I do something wrong?

Hi, Reddit. I’m turning here because I’m heartbroken and confused, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like the man I love is looking at me like I’m not good enough, but maybe I’m just too emotional to see things clearly.

A little about me: I’m a 35-year-old mom of four amazing kids (15, 14, 12, and 11). I grew up in a chaotic and unstable home—my mom was bipolar, my dad was absent, and my siblings and I were separated by DFACS. My childhood was full of instability, loneliness, and hurt. As a kid, I promised myself I’d create a life where my children would never feel the way I did.

Unfortunately, my first marriage didn’t work out the way I hoped. I married young and for the wrong reasons—a man with two kids already, no ambitions, and a drinking problem. We were married for nine years and had four kids together, but I felt trapped. My family wasn’t supportive, and I had no one but his family to lean on. Eventually, I found the courage to leave when my youngest was almost four.

Since then, my ex-husband has spiraled into addiction and legal trouble, leaving me to raise our kids on my own. It hasn’t been easy—I’ve struggled through sleepless nights, juggling work, school, and motherhood. I’ve worked hard to build a better life. I earned my bachelor’s degree in business administration, bought a small home for us (it’s not much, but it’s ours), and started saving, though it’s been slow.

When I met my fiancé, 39(m) I thought I’d found my second chance at love. He’s everything I thought I wanted: stable, hard-working, and kind. He grew up in a loving, high-middle-class home and has two kids from previous relationships. Unlike me, he didn’t have full custody, so he had the freedom to work multiple jobs and save over $200k. When we started dating, I was upfront about my struggles—how I’ve worked tirelessly to provide for my kids and haven’t had the luxury of building a substantial savings account. He didn’t seem to mind.

Recently, I decided to buy my 14-year-old son a gaming PC for Christmas. He’s a great kid, and I wanted to give him something special. But after I made that purchase, my fiancé told me he wanted to postpone our wedding. He said he feels we’re not on the same financial page and that I need to save more so we can buy a house together.

He insists on splitting everything 50/50, but that feels impossible for me. I work seven days a week—full-time on weekdays and part-time on weekends—but I also have bills, four kids to support, and obligations he’s never had to consider. I told him it would likely take me five years to save what he expects, but he didn’t seem to understand.

Two days ago, he told me he doesn’t want to get married at all. He says it’s because he doesn’t want me to lose my tax refund, and he thinks I deserve to keep it. But in my heart, I feel like he’s just finding an excuse to slowly detach.

I feel crushed. I’ve worked so hard to overcome my past and give my kids a stable life. I thought he understood and loved me for who I am, but now I feel judged and inadequate. I’m torn—am I wrong for wanting to provide for my kids while still building a future together? Is he right to call off our engagement over this?

I’d love any advice or perspective you can give me.