Review of their 2027 Album 'Asteroida'

Alright, buckle up, Reddit fam. My cousin’s roommate’s uncle hooked me up with the new Linkin Park album three years ahead of its release. Here’s my honest review of each track.

Track 1: "One Step Even Closer" The album kicks off with an intro of a bad AI Model based on Chester screaming (but not musically, just as if in pain) while Mike Shinoda raps in binary Code and Emily hums in the background awkwardly. It’s haunting. It’s futuristic. It made my toaster start breakdancing. This is Linkin Park at their most unhinged, and the inclusion of ChesterRVC2.zip will certainly please the fans of Linkin Park's early era.

Track 2: "NFT" Mike whispers sweet nothings about blockchain technology over a beat that sounds like someone smashing a GameCube with a sledgehammer. It’s a ballad for the modern age. By the end of the song, I had purchased six NFTs I didn’t want. Some might argue this is more of an ad read, yet it does come with a melody.

Track 3: "So sorry!" This is 5 hours of Mike, ever the people pleaser, apologizing for One More Light. A lot of people asked for this. Clever move of the band to actually do it.

Track 4: "Alexa, Play Crawling But Make It Country" Imagine “Crawling” but with banjos and a fiddle duel. Emma yodels, and there’s a guest verse from Billy Ray Cyrus. I didn’t know whether to cry or do-si-do. NordVPN gets some writing credits according to the booklet, yet their role is somewhat unclear.

Track 5: "Lying from you" Exactly like we remember Linkin Park. I mean.... It is literally how we remember them. This is just the Meteora track without any changes. But why change a formula that has beed working for centuries? 10/10, absolute banger!

Track 6: "404" Halfway through this song, all the instruments drop out and are replaced with the sound of Windows XP error chimes, yet somehow it’s their most emotional ballad ever. Emilys lyrics include, “Reboot my heart, Ctrl+Alt+Del me,” and I’m not okay.

Track 7: "The Pokémon Rap, but Screamo" This is where the album peaks. Emily absolutely destroys the second verse, screaming “Charizard! Pikachu! Jigglypuff!” like her life depends on it. The guitar riff evolves into a literal dragon by the end. Not sure how this is even possible.

Track 8: "Silent Track (4’33’’ Reboot)" A cover of John Cage’s classic, but with added angst. I spent four minutes and 33 seconds reflecting on my life choices. This track is deep. It’s profound. It’s also completely silent.

Track 9: "Another day (ft. Fort Minor)" Mike Shinoda raps about grocery shopping while Brad provides a sick kazoo solo. It’s relatable yet avant-garde. I felt personally attacked when Mike rhymed “avocado” with “avocado.” Yet, I think Mike Shinoda and Fort Minor sound a little too similar to each other.

Track 10: "Nu-Metal Opera Suite (in 8 Movements)" The final track is 27 minutes long and features a full orchestra. It’s the most ambitious piece of music I’ve ever heard. Some people won't like yet another Joe Hahn Instrumental track, but the interplay of violins and trumpets is just great on this one.

Track 11,12,13,14 and 15: "Already Over (remix)" You gotta hand it to him, it is a good song. So, why not remix it until the end of time?

What did y’all think of the leak?