Most of us want to be infrequent or responsible users. But unfortunately, we don't believe it's impossible—until we suffer the consequences of our lack of control so often that it finally opens our eyes to the signs that were there all along. For some of us, this realization comes quickly. For others, it takes walking around with a catheter to see the obvious truth.

No drug has ever had its grip on me like ketamine before. And I am a former phenibut and benzo abuser—took that stuff daily for almost four years. Haven't touched any of those for the last 3+ years, however. Thank Eru.

The only drug I wasn’t prepared to admit I was addicted to was ketamine. Not being prepared to recognize you're addicted to a drug is the easiest thing in the world to do—when you're addicted to a drug.

So how to deal with cravings?

1. Call a trusted person

If it’s a particularly strong craving, call someone you trust. They’ll remind you that you don’t actually want to take the drug. Why else have you been trying to quit? Stupid dumbass. (That’s a joke because addiction is a persuasive mf.)

2. Write down the exact reasoning and thought pattern behind the craving.

It could be anything:

“I have to get it because I’m home alone tonight.”

“I deserve it because I feel sad.”

“It’s only once/for today.”

“What else can I do?”

“I cartoonishly slipped on a banana today.” (Kind of a valid excuse.)

You end up with a long-ass list of all the thoughts your cravings conjured up. In the moment, they feel persuasive, even reasonable. But when you read them later, in a sober and rational state, you realize they’re all equally insubstantial.

Like clouds. They come in all shapes and sizes, but you can’t stand on a single one. No matter how convincing or pretty they look.

Reading this list is always a good idea if you crave it even a little.

3. Distract yourself (but do it wisely).

If your only way of coping is mindless distractions like doom-scrolling, video games, or porn, you’re just replacing one addiction with another. You’re not challenging the craving or dealing with the source of the issue—you’re just putting it on hold.

Still, distractions have their place and can offer relief. But not if it’s the only tool in your kit (which is really common).

A better distraction? Socializing. It's massive for mental health. And when your mental health is good, buying an ounce of ketamine when your bladder is burning like the Library of Alexandria suddenly sounds like a dumb idea.

Then there’s discovering or reviving hobbies. Deep creative work can be a huge time sink where you might not even want to be under the influence. And if drug-seeking has kept you from expressing yourself, getting back to it can feel like a goddamn revival.

4. Don't just sit the craving out—explore it.

Literally sit with it.

Don’t distract yourself. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t do anything to relieve the craving.

Just sit there. Watch it. You can even ask it questions.

But be cautious—even while observing, cravings can be sneaky and persuasive.

Try to view it neutrally. No good, no bad. Your thoughts will try to convince you otherwise. But thoughts are just insubstantial clouds, and now you're cloud-gazing.

The main lesson? Cravings have nowhere to land. They rise, but quickly dissippate in the sea. They only have staying power if you pursue them. Again, just like thoughts.

It will suck. It will promise you the world if you just give in. And if you don’t, it’ll make sure it hurts on the way out.

But when it passes? You've just beaten and witnessed something ancient and powerful. Something that overrides survival instincts. It’s like being chased in a dream. The fear is convincing when you’re running. But when you turn around and face it, you realize there was never any danger to begin with.

Like your craving—it’s just a figment of the mind. Another insubstantial cloud with a shiny new disguise.

5. Mindfulness and meditation.

Yeah, meditation has a bad rep because some people tie it to religious or spiritual beliefs. But mindfulness itself? It's scientifically proven to change the way your brain processes emotions, stress, and cravings.

Your mind is the most important thing you have. Why? Because your mind interprets everything.

Everything is just raw information until the mind filters it. And that filter controls your experience of reality.

You could have everything you ever wanted. All your needs and desires fulfilled. But if your mind rejects it? It means nothing.

This works both ways.

And miraculously, the mind can be trained just like a muscle.

If you put in the reps and grasp just the basics, you’ll see for yourself:

Your thoughts are not you.

You are not your cravings.

You don’t have to believe every thought that pops into your head.

Negative thoughts lose their grip. Addictive thoughts become easier to detect. Cravings start to look like passing clouds instead of all-powerful demands.

(Not affiliated, but I use the Waking Up app daily. Best one out there IMO.)

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Addiction is tricky because it’s not an external enemy you can just “beat” or lock up.

It’s countless subconscious processes influencing your own brain to behave in a way that, for millions of years, actually made sense.

Human brains did not evolve for a world where ounces of ketamine get delivered to your doorstep at a moment’s notice.