Apology letter from a double dropper...

I failed...sorry mummy papa....i know papa last year retire ho gye...i know hamari more than half property chacha chachi le gye...i know hamare pass naa hi car hai and naa hi koi expensive cheez....i know is year doosre city me hamara ghar bn rha....i know i have a younger brother too and an older sister jiski studies me abhi bahot time hai....still...stil....i fked up my jee ....even after knowing that i should complete my studies asap coz dad ke pass time ni zyada...i dont wanna see you getting old and here is me...an absolute failure.....i fked my this attempt...i don't know when i will able to make you guys proud....mumma...papa ...sorry i can't tell you how much of a failure i am .....

Papa ig aapne sahi kaha tha...i waste my time ...i procastinate a lot....aapne sahi kaha tha...mai padhai karti hun ki kya wo aapko thodi pta...you were right dad....bolte hai na...you reap what u sow...ig shi hi kehte hain....i failed ...again...again and again...am nothing but a failure....this thing will haunt me for the rest of my life....i couldn't even d*e like a failure...that's shameful.....what's more shameful is you guys are so supportive, so loving, so so good...i can't even express how much good parents are you.....but i wish ...i wish i was a good daughter.....

Edit: I wrote this on an online platform not to get sympathy but to make me remember how much of a failure i am in life...gaali dena hai to dedo...i deserve it...