I feel really down ...

It's my supposed "best friend's" wedding this coming weekend.

My duties for the wedding has been taken away. The MOH (yeah, I'm not the maid of honour to my "best friend's" wedding), bride and another bridesmaid completely took away my gin bar duties, buying everything themselves. I realise it could be seen as a generous gesture, but it feels like I'm being seen as incapable, poor, and/or sickly. It makes me feel incredibly excluded and hurt. Similarly, my duty of the making/organising the natural confetti (after I already started it and paid money on it) was also taken away, as suddenly another bridesmaid was bringing lavender and another was bringing dried herbs and other "goodies." Why delegate these tasks to me and then let others just do it instead? Or was it because I wasn't doing it "fast enough" for the bride / MOH's check list?

The part that hurt the most is the fact that the speech I was supposed to make wasn't even on the final programme and I had to ask the MOH about it. Apparently it was "cut" for time by the wedding coordinator, yet I was never informed.

And then, I'm the black sheep when it comes to having my bridesmaid dress ready for "approval", as it was being made. The bride only checks in on with me to know how the dress is progressing... And when I post images of my dress on the bridal party group, nobody even bothers to respond, where they raved about everybody else's purchased dresses.

Also, my husband and I was originally asked to come through on the Thursday night, but now we're only going through on the Friday with the rest of the guests. However, the MOH and another bridesmaid are going through with the groom and bride. Yet she calls us her "chosen family." I mean we wouldn't be able to afford it, but we weren't even asked / invited.

I feel ostracised because of my Fibromyalgia and our lack of financial resources due to medical costs, when all I want is to be included; not pitied or excluded, because "poor thing, she can't handle it."

I don't know what to do. I feel like withdrawing completely and just being friendless, if this is how I'm going to be treated or viewed as. So much for calling me her "sister" and then treating me like an unwanted guest...

It all just confirms things I've felt for a long time in this one-sided friendship. My husband is really considered the prized friend/family member, as he's giving her away on the wedding day (she doesn't have family). Where I'm just an added extra. I truly do not feel valued or loved. And now that I'm ill, I seem to have even less social value.

The emotional strain and hurt is causing me physical pain, and a flare today. At this point I don't even want to go the wedding anymore. I've been crying all day over this.

Am I just overreacting?