Black tie, white tie, do you understand all that?

When the men are in black ties by default one evening, Grandma Shirley MacClaine sarcastically says the men are dressed for a BBQ it’s so bad to their understood customs.

I guess these distinctions are the only way for men who wear suits all day to dress UP for dinner. And the short black coats and black ties are just the usual evening wear but then when there are guests or Granny who is old fashioned they’re supposed to be in tuxedo-tails and white ties? So does that mean in the past they always wore tails to dinner?

Is there a handbook they give you when you’re born in England and is this still something that’s observed by the upper class there?