That was… odd?

I am 35HLF. He is 37LLM. Been together 5yrs. Dead bedroom for 2yrs. He had a previous porn addiction in the past which caused his previous relationship before me to break down. He insisted he recognised the negative impact porn had on his life and stopped consuming it before we got together. For the first 3yrs of our relationship, our sex life was fantastic. It was regular and adventurous and we definitely had quite a spark.

For the past 2yrs of dead bedroom, we had “the talk” several times. I would always explain how unattractive and unwanted I felt with the constant rejection and lack of desire from him. He would always apologise and say he would do better - things would improve for maybe a couple of weeks and then go back to zero.

Anyway, on Sunday night I told him I was done and was seriously considering ending the relationship because I hate how this has all made me feel and it’s turned me into a person I don’t like. He genuinely looked distraught and like he was going to cry (and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry before) and said he didn’t realise the toll it had taken on me and he couldn’t stop apologising. He kept insisting he does find me really attractive and he knows other guys do as well, and he said he was an idiot for letting things get this bad. He promised he would take things seriously and make a real effort. I asked why has he not taken it seriously before? What’s different about now? I shouldn’t have to basically break up with you for you to listen to me. He said he understands my frustration and he knows he wasn’t prioritising me or our relationship but that he was going to do all he can from now on to prove to me we can get past this, and begged me to give him one more chance.

I said ok, but if I don’t see any consistent change then I’m leaving him. I didn’t tell him this part, but our rental agreement is up in 6 months so I will make a final decision at that point.

Anyway, I know early days, but since then he has been so loving. He has tried to initiate sex with me several times, which I turned down because time of the month and I’m feeling yuck. He was away for work last night so stayed in a hotel, and asked me if he can send me some photos and videos later. I said yeah sure looking forward to it - not actually thinking he would. We used to do that all the time before we moved in together 2yrs ago, but then it just stopped, despite him being away maybe once or twice a week most weeks. For some reason he got funny about sending those kind of things or sexy texts so I stopped pushing for it.

Anyway, later on in the evening, he sent me a photo of his hard cock and asked me if I liked it. I replied that yes I loved it, and he asked what would I do with it if I was there with him. Well, that turned into a very detailed sext exchange with both of us sending multiple videos. The final video he sent me was of him “finishing” and I honestly couldn’t believe the amount of 💦💦💦 he shot out 😅 i swear it has never been that much before. I even commented on what a big load it was and he was like “yeah tell me about it I was so fucking horny”.

I’m not naive enough to think it will be like this forever, but it feels like a good step in the right direction.