Help

Yesterday was the love of my life's funeral....

I feel like everyday another piece of me is slowly dying inside. I don't think I can do this without him. I am trying to understand. I do not want to question GOD'S will. But why did he have to take my other half? If I had a reason for how he passed, perhaps it would be easier to understand. But that's not the case. This whole thing is crazy and I feel like I'm in some sick fever dream or something. I don't know where else to go to talk about this, so forgive me please if this is not the place. I just need to understand. It hurts so bad.