Any active, tall women on here losing on 2,000?

I’m 5’9, 163, 27f. I am in the gym 6x a week, and average 18,000- 20,000 steps a day between gym and my job. I usually do a 5k run + walk on treadmill until I hit 20k steps five times a week and one longer walk, eliptical, hiking, or skiing, on the sixth day. Seven day is rest but I’ll hit 10k steps from work usually. This is consistent and routine many years- I don’t miss days or run less or anything like that. I am very consistent with my activity level.

I give all that detail to ask this- I am trying to lose 20 - 25 lbs and eat mostly healthy (high protein, Whole Foods only, never eat out or snack, etc) but I am utterly struggling to hit my 1600-1800 calorie goal. frankly I am just hungry af, and I end up binging around 3200 calories about once a week. This is keeping me stuck and very unhappy in my body.

I am trying to track my TDEE on a spreadsheet but I struggle with IBS- c and am a menstruating women so my weight will shoot up 5-10 lbs even after two weeks at 1600 calories, then randomly drop, then go back up… im bouncing around in the same 20 lbs since December. Here is my question- All the women in this sub eat max 1600 calories. Any active, tall ladies out there losing weight on 2000+ calories?

I am fine with doing a smaller defecit and this taking a year. But what I’m scared of is raising calories to 2,000, losing nothing, and even gaining (if the binges don’t stop).

I am not willing to exercise less. This level of activity is what I want/ need for my mental health.