Episiotomy pain 1.5 weeks pp causing severe depression - does it get better?

Hi, I’m just looking for some comfort really because I feel like I’m going through hell. I’m a first time mum, unfortunately my birth plan didn’t go to plan and I ended up needing a ventouse delivery with an episiotomy.

My baby boy is perfect in every way, but the pain I’ve been left with from the procedure has really impacted my mental wellbeing. I’m about 1.5 weeks postpartum now, and I still have intense sore pain in my anus/perineum region especially when standing or moving and it is AGONY when peeing. I will even avoid peeing sometimes because the pain is so so bad. When I pee I get a rush of soreness flooding that area and it’s so unbearable I scream out in pain.

Is this normal for 1.5 weeks postpartum and will it get better from here? If anything it feels like my recovery has gone backwards as I don’t remember being in this much pain a week ago. I’m keeping an open mind to possible infection but I’m not convinced this is the case for me. I have wondered if my stitches are healing properly or if they’ve come apart. I am being checked by a nurse tomorrow to see what’s going on.

Also nothing helps except a cooling pad for the brief 20 mins it stays cold. Salt baths seem to aggravate the area.

:(