why do i even play this game?

i stopped for a month to focus on other things in life only for my bestfriend to ask me for a duo. we played 4 games and he died on all four of em. after that i decided to play solo and random que(lockdown) . i got matched with a thai player and managed to get 3 honest kills. after 30 minutes of walking and looting when i was about to extract i got bombarded by my own teammate. in my backpack i got a laptop, military radio, m110, bp ammo. 2 t4 armour. i manage to kill 3 enemies and died to my own teammate? and he purposely waited till we arrived at extract??? srsly what was the all of those 30 mins spent for!? i couldve done wayy better things in life rather than raging over a stupid thai. now im racist towards thai ppl ingame. why do i even bother? ofc i reported him but what’s that gonna change? i was so confused because i stole NOTHING. not his kills nor the boss he killed. this game is a fucking waste of time. what would i even get if i reached 40mil? can i buy a new phone with it? USELESS