sexual consent

Sorry i am french

Hello for an update I talked about the concerns I had with my darling regarding the fact he forcing to do a position when I had said no and even debated and that he took it for a game and there was when I even had penetration and despite the fact that I talked to him about it, it was repeated during another intimate relationship.

Me, I decide to forgive because I went further and examined how he treats me on a daily basis (very very well). But I have a question, in a context where the subject is serious and is it legitimate to express one's emotions? (because a friend told me that he should keep them for himself)

Basically, after explaining to him, he told me that for the first time this happened, he remembers it very well, but he is 2000% convinced that he did not penetrate me, so he obviously apologizes for forcing me, but he has difficulty apologizing for the fact of having penetrated me because for him the apologies would not be sincere. However, for the second time he doesn't remember and prefers to believe me as much for the forcing as for the penetration, so he sincerely apologized for both. (we argued about the fact that he said he did not penetrate me, because obviously it makes me think: at the beginning I told him that he had penetrated me, after which he explained that for him he did not I hadn't done it I told him that I agreed and subsequently I changed my mind saying that in fact if he penetrated me And he told me because of all these. changes: you're kidding me. I took it extremely badly and he also apologized) we are under tension at the moment and it's the first time it's been like that.

In addition, he took the opportunity to explain to me that he already felt forced by me, several months ago, he described the scene (personally I have no memory) but that he absolutely did not want me feel guilty because he doesn't feel sad about it, it was more to tell me that we have poor communication in this regard. Except that I told myself that he was manipulating me.

And yesterday I made a little point at him where I told him at times we don't know that we are the aggressor ( referring to him ) and he told me yes we don't know (referring to me too) and I feel bad took because I don't understand why he said that to me, because I have the impression that he doesn't make me legitimate to be bad... and he explained to me that I was totally legitimate to be bad, to want to forgive him or not, but he just said that because he doesn't even understand why I snapped at him for no reason while we were at the restaurant.

So, I would like your opinions?